Redundancy Diary - Week 8

This week has taught me that employment is just like buses – you wait for ages for one to come along and then you get two arriving at the same time! Within the space of a few hours this last Tuesday I received my first job offer and got my first client for my consultancy business. It did wonders for my self-esteem, but played havoc with my decision making capabilities!

You will remember I wrote last week about my indecision over whether to follow my head (search for a job) or my heart (set up my own consultancy business). And here I was, faced with the prospect of doing either, and having to make that decision. I agonized for hours, picked up the phone to anyone who could give me an honest opinion on what they thought could be best for me, then sat alone to think it through.

The head won. I am not by nature a big risk taker, I need to provide a stable home environment for my children, and the security of employment is an increasingly rare commodity and one not to be passed over in the current economic climate.

I was surprised by my own reaction after I had put the phone down after accepting the job offer. I should have felt elated, pumped up and excited. I guess those feelings were there, but they were overshadowed by an overwhelming sense of relief and numbness. My brain was telling my body that I could relax now, that I had got what I had been driving for for the last 8 weeks, but my body didn’t know how to deal with that. 3 days later, I still can’t quite find that 2nd or 3rd gear, because I have been so used to driving in 5th gear for so long! I am so relieved and, once the contract is signed, I will allow myself the luxury of switching off, maybe even watching TV or reading a good novel in the evening.

A colleague once told me how important it is to mark beginnings and endings in order to move on from one situation to a new one. I did manage to have an evening out – going to see ‘Death of a Salesman’ of all things (highly topical and a bit ominous for my profession!) and having a great curry in Warwick, which helped.

I have also realised that I can fit in some consultancy days before I start my new job in April, so my heart does get a small voice after all. After that I will ‘hibernate’ my consultancy business, keeping it ready for whenever I may need to make another change. It is comforting to know that I have something there to fall back on if I should need it.

I’ll be co-hosting the ‘Facing Change – Taking Control’ event at the Trident Centre next Friday 27th March, 9am – 12pm, and hope to see as many of you there as we can fit it! Please email me or Helen Cooney to secure a place: clareshuttlewood@hotmail.co.uk or hcooney@fuelhrservices.co.uk.

I’ll be writing next week on my reflections of the whole redundancy and job search process I have been through.